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The Ante Mortem Songbook

by Jack Charles

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1.
By the time you see its light this star will have already died. By the time your bondage has ended you’ll see the ties were only invented by a ray of light called mind inserted in a creature of the strangest kind, in a world where truth is everywhere but so very hard to find. By the time the tear is shed the book will read what was unsaid. Then you’ll find yourself forgiven by the cast of characters you were given. Creatures of the strangest kind. Living proof that love is blind in a world where truth is everywhere but so very hard to find. By the time you come to realize that all you did was fantasize. Dreaming up a dream, but never altering time’s stream. How much treasure can we find? Creatures of the human kind in a world where truth is everywhere but so very hard to find. By choice or by command? I still don’t understand. But I offer you this verse − maybe we’ll meet again somewhere in the universe. But I offer you this verse − maybe we’ll meet again somewhere in the universe.
2.
The Line 03:42
There is something missing here. Let’s keep it crystal clear. There’s one thing you must know − you cross that line and you’re in my show. I dragged the corpse across the sand. I drew a line across this land. Somewhere between the living and dead I tossed the crown that was on my head. I see you wear it proudly, albeit a little loudly. I’m down with playing it cool, but you reached the line, my line, fool. Use your mind before you cross that line. You don’t know what you’ll find. I’ve been up, down and dead. You wouldn’t last a minute inside my head. Or could you? There’s a decision to be made. Will you be brave or afraid? You can’t say you didn’t know. You cross that line and you’re in my show. I dragged the corpse across the sand. I plowed a line straight across this land. Somewhere between the living and dead I crushed the crown upon my head. Use your mind before you cross the line. ‘Cause you don’t know what you may find. I’ve been up, down and dead. You wouldn’t last a minute inside my head. Or could you? Or should you? Or, maybe would you? I’ve been up, down and dead. You wouldn’t last a minute inside my head. Or could you?
3.
Burn 03:14
Goodbye you flaming southern belle. You lit the fire. You lit it well. You made it scream and fanned it with rage. You’re a supernova burning inside your cage. Keep it up. Keep it up. Don’t stop until you burn it all up. You always said you’d fall on your sword. But you didn’t and we got bored. But you lit the cross and it’s caught your dress. It’s fresh to see you burn up your mess. Yeah girl, keep it up. Keep it up. Don’t stop until you burn it all up. Dance on you flaming southern belle. You lit the fire. Now you go to hell. Schadenfreude isn’t my school, but you’d be the exception to that rule. Yeah honey, keep it up. Keep it up. Don’t stop until you burn it all up. Keep it up. Keep it up. Don’t stop until you burnt it all up.
4.
Don’t believe what you’ve been told if you really want to be with me. Don’t anchor yourself with gold. I truly want you, but I want you free. As free as all the plastic in the sea − as free as all that plastic in the sea. Don’t believe what you’ve been sold. Freedom-branded captivity. I’m not a fan of the tried and old. I have a greater vision for you and me: as vast as the Fukushima stream − larger than the Fukushima stream. I want you, but only you. I want you free. I want you true. People want to follow the show, but all I really want is to see your soul. Don’t make me wait for the veil. Time is the one thing we can’t beat. And like my heart it’s not for sale − It runs like a river to the sea. It runs like the ice caps breaking free − it runs like those ice caps breaking free. I want you, but only you. I want you free. I want you true. People want to follow the show, but all I really want is to see your soul. Baby, all I really want is to see your soul.
5.
You had better move − grind that groove. Are you sick of routine? Break up that scheme. Get up and dance to the beat tonight. I can feel the stressing shedding. Bringing on emotions and crazy notions. Life is feeling good tonight. I can’t help moving my can with every child, woman and man. I can’t stop moving my bones with anyone or on my own. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight. Nobody here cares if you’re queer. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight. Just as projected this crowd’s invested in pounding the ground with the sound. Get down in this town tonight. People only want to remove what blurs their shine−leave the pain behind. At least while we are here tonight. I can’t help moving my can with every child, woman and man. I can’t stop moving my bones with anyone or on my own. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight. Nobody here cares if you’re queer. Let’s go to town on the beat tonight.
6.
Recall 04:22
What’s left of then? Pieces floating in memory. Gathering them in broken bouquets. Drifting on recall − escaping through drainpipes. Bruised by the fall − the faces have changed. Everything’s changed − nothing’s the same. Everything’s changed − nothing’s the same. This is the picture without marketing bullshit. Stapled and sutured − a monstrous doll. A vacuous space I turn to its other side. Look at its face − you know it has changed. Nothing has changed. It’s just not the same. Nothing has changed. It’s just not the same. Unwritten years. Unnamed fears. Signs from above. Cinders of love. Destiny’s plan. Earthliest scam. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. What have I now? Ancient yearnings for paradise hung from my brow, unanswered as yet. Tethered to recall − lost in the river stream. You cheer for my fall − I can’t remember your name. Everything’s changed, but it’s still the same. Everything’s changed, but it’s still the same. Unwritten years. Unnamed fears. Signs from above. Cinders of love. Destiny’s plan. Earthliest scam. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh.
7.
Question 03:55
Is that my enemy’s coffin passing by my door? Is that yet another I told you so? Did the early bird catch the worm? Did your guardian angel keep you from harm? Is that spilt milk on the floor? Y sin embargo se mueven. Am I the only one who questions? Are those the sparks of history’s friction? Did you conquer freedom with addiction? Is that blood on your badge of honor? Did you come and become a goner? Was it true or was it fiction? Y sin embargo se mueven. Run. Run. Run. Run I’m catching up. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run I’m catching up. Am I the only one who questions? I question... I question your intention. Was that a snake hiding in the grass? Is that a stick placed in your ass? Was the sheep wearing wolf skin? Did the doorman not let you in? Why you got a problem with all I ask? Y sin embargo se mueven. Run. Run. Run. Run I’m catching up. Run. Run. Run. Run I’m catching up. Am I the only one who questions? I question... I question your intention.
8.
It’s the kind of sky that’s so blue, if you blink there’re swimming ghosts of you. Not a cloud in which to lose them. Not an inch of shade to keep these bones from melting into glue. But it might as well be midnight for the cloak of darkness covering the heart that you once knew has kept it buzzing on a note that’s absolutely blue. It’s daytime but I see the moon, night’s promise of something new. But Apollo isn’t resting in the image burning my mind since the last time I saw you. Your windshield blinded my eyes until you turned to take the road to separate me from you. Reflecting the big sky that was absolutely blue. Another perfect day is through, but my dreams are full of scenes of you. No haven for the outcast. No storm to wash away the devastating loss of you. And the sun is sure to rise again to shine the light on what was then but is no longer true. Lost in an endless sky absolutely blue. Lost in an endless sky absolutely blue. Lost in an endless sky absolutely blue.
9.
Somehow I’m alive. Call me a survivor of all my many revolutions. I’ve been hiding out. I’ve been thinking about taking one more shot at my evolution. It was do or die, but well worth a try. I got one more adventure inside me. Death comes regardless, so why is it reckless to go for broke on one last dream? I packed the car, picked up my guitar and became the sound of my madness. It’s kind of rough, but that’s cool enough. I’ve seen too much to worry ‘bout darkness. It hurts and it’s real. It’s about what I feel. Like that time you made me feel wanted. Tears in the rain, the soul and its stains, in stardust we’ve been planted. I’ve been fine. Thanks for taking the time. I’ve been to hell and I’m ringing the bell. Can you hear it? At least in spirit? Things rarely turn out they way they were planned out. The stars aren’t always aligned, dear. Never compare to anyone anywhere. It is what it is, and it is here. So strike up the band with the idea at hand. Time to beat to a heart that’s been broken. One with your tattoo. I fixed it with glue, and I offer it as a token. Having nothing to lose was easy to choose as you walk out of the train wreck. And nobody cares. Nobody shares whatever you have come to expect. I’m mad and alone, but I’m finally home. No more slavery for my creation. All that I show has come with the flow at life’s instigation. I’ve been fine. Thanks for taking the time. I’ve been to hell and I’m ringing the bell. Can you hear it? At least in spirit?
10.
Hey there, what’s up with you? Never seen a human quite like you. You’re hard to describe and categorize. You’re a burst of color and then a surprise. The elegy wrapped round you. The muses have so favored you. You grew your garden and kept it up. The honey drips over the loving cup. I’ve seen mink and I’ve seen mange. Been at peace with life’s exchange. But I’d love to love you − I’d love to love you strange. I’d love to love you − I’d love to love you strange. Hold on, don’t leave yet. Let’s take our time, our feathers are wet. You must go, oh babe, I know. So let me marry your memory to re-live in my soul. I’ve got you in my soul! I’ll always have this time − keep it in crystal, tie it in twine. As stars we must flow on light’s path and I will always love you in my aftermath. I’ve seen ‘em set or rearranged. Thought I had covered the range. So, I’d love to love you − I’d love to love you strange. Yes I’d love to love you − I’d love to love you strange.
11.
Look at the moon. Yeah that’s right... it’s right. It’s time to move. Behold the night tonight. I’m gonna ride. I’m gonna ride the wild stallion. So this is the room. Ok it’s fine. I said it’s fine! Now it’s time to bloom. Take this to sublime... divine. I’m gonna ride. I’m gonna ride the wild stallion. Should I close my eyes? I can’t even... won’t even! I want them to fly, fly, fly. Call me a heathen. I’m the heathen who’s gonna ride. Yeah I’m gonna ride your wild stallion. Don’t fuck around. This is one in a million... one in a million! It can’t just be found. Nightshade vermilion... oh yeah. I’m gonna ride. I’m gonna ride. Yeah I’m gonna ride. I’m gonna ride your wild stallion.
12.
Toy 04:21
Whoever said big boys don’t cry didn’t know a damned thing about life. You can bet your last dollar it will find a way to make you holler. Tradition is unconcerned with your emotions. It fills your mind with insane notions that you are cannon fodder next to the gunpowder. So when they cheer you on to use others as a toy, that’s when you’ve signed on and it’s you that’s being toyed. The boy has been destroyed. You compress all of those feelings. But the pressure, I see, has them seeping out of the cracks in your life, like a child, a neighbor or a wife. Whoever said that you lack courage deliberately hides the knowledge that you deserve love and joy – that you really were a good boy. So when they cheer you on to use others as a toy, that’s when you’ve signed on and it’s you that’s being toyed. The boy has been destroyed. But buddy don’t confuse my shoulder as a cold, tall dividing boulder. I won’t judge you if you cry – by now we’ve each seen both sides. Whoever said big boys don’t cry didn’t know a damned thing about life. You can bet your last dollar it will find a way to make you holler. So when they cheer you on to use others as a toy, that’s when you’ve signed on and it’s you that’s being toyed. Your boy has been destroyed
13.
Mind 03:22
Aren’t we a structured thing, a pattern blindly following behavior that doesn’t let you see – for instance me. Is that your scheme? You would see you’re not so free in a box marked liberty. Thought can make you insane. It’ll make you blame. Wasted freedom, what a shame. Mind is the only thing you can change. Mind is the only thing you can change. There is room − there’s a space where a rebel really shows his face. Call it marginal or counterculture it holds a future outside the culture vulture. So I’m here and you are too − a chance for something new to do. Something that doesn’t match your plan, and you understand you’ve been free since time began. Mind is the only thing you can change. I said mind is the only thing you can change. I’m asking can you change your mind? This is the space, this is the time and all you can really change is your mind.

credits

released October 1, 2016

Produced by Joe Stacey
Executive Producer Jack Charles
All songs and lyrics by Jack Charles (except Mind by Andre Lovrekovic & Jack Charles)
Recorded at Masochist Monkey Studio in Austin, Texas
Cover Photography by Paolo Gori
Interior Photography by Jimmie Kadaver
Graphic Design by Al Morale
This production is 100% independent

Copyright © 2016 Jack Charles. All rights reserved.

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